Part 2: New Year’s Goals Designed for Driven Women

Goals and resolutions. Remember those feisty little things you put together at the beginning of the year, then promptly forget about as soon as February rolls around?

Don’t let the year get away from you! Set goals you can keep. 📸by O’Meara Photography.

As a working mom of two lively kiddos, a busy one-person business owner, and an active family member with a social life, just getting my goals down on paper is half the battle! Do you feel me? 🙋

But I’m on it this year, and ready for all the positive outcomes that come from thorough planning and goal setting! Last week I posted the first part of my goals-roadmap for living a healthier and more fulfilling life in 2020. A plan based on growing into a more resilient, flexible, and satisfied human and mother. 

I know, I know, this is going to be effing hard! I’m even wanting to backtrack on my words a little bit as I’m writing them out right now. 😳

But I’m committed, and I’m not going back! You see in the last few years as I’ve edged closer and closer to being 40-years-old--eek! I can’t believe I’m almost ‘over the hill!’ And with this looming milestone, I’ve become increasingly aware of the fact that if I don’t change my habits now, the rest of my life is going to be a total sh*t show. And after all, don’t we all want to live a happy and fulfilled life? Not an existence based on avoidance and over-indulgence? I want to live an honest life, with integrity, and focused on being present--for my kids, my husband, my family, friends, and myself!

All that stated, it’s easier said than done. So as part of my own accountability plan, I’ve decided to write about my progress and goals here!

In last week’s post, I dug into my roadmap for daily meditation, clean eating, and limiting alcohol consumption in 2020. This week, I will talk about intentions for physical care, fitness, and exercise, plus self-care in the new year. I’m pumped! Are you ready?! 🙌

Physical CARE does not equal exercise.

I don’t mean to sound bossy here--okay, okay, yes I do--but the notion that physical care and fitness are one and the same is a concept I have mixed up for many years. It’s not a surprise, many physical ‘gurus’ out there mix it up too, which sends a super confusing message. For a time, I had it so wrong that it took me breaking my body (in the form of a herniated disk in my back) to wake up. 😳

After a lot of self-deprecation, depression, and self-loathing, I had a realization about self-care. Or maybe it was more of a consciousness-shift, and I’m so happy to have finally accepted a balanced physical care policy. Here’s the thing: 

I learned the hard way that you need to choose some activities that foster your physical care. These activities should NOT be rigorous and should be MORE focused on mental health than your ‘beach body.’ Here’s a post I wrote last year that digs into this concept more. Why is this relevant? Because if all you do is break your body down with intense workouts, and hardcore exercise, you will eventually--well, break! 👎

Here are the actions I intend to take in 2020 to better care of my body physically so that I can exercise harder, and avoid injury. 

• Get a Massage Monthly - Massage is one of the best ways to keep your body healthy, and also improve your mental state. As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, I can tell you that I need a massage regularly to keep me well, not just physically, but mentally. I plan to get a massage every month this year. Moms! This is for you! Do it! Don’t believe me? Read this list of benefits from the American Massage Therapy Association. 💆

Side note: I get it. A professional massage can get expensive. If you can’t afford a monthly appointment, a good compromise is to trade-off with your partner. Giving each other a 30-minute massage and then switching can still help! 

• Walk, Walk, Walk! I want to dig into this one more when I get to the topic of increasing my time outside, but it’s also super applicable here! I can’t tell you the number of times my body has been in pain, or I've just been down in the dumps, only to realize I haven't been outside that day. It usually goes like this: after making a bunch of excuses, I bite the bullet and get outside for a 30-40-minute walk. And without fail, I always discover that my mood is A+ afterward, and my body is in far less pain. The benefits of walking regularly are endless, and an incredible way of implementing self-care that’s free! Read more from Consumer Reports here. 👟💓

• Get to a Yoga Class - My mom first introduced me to hatha yoga when I was five years old. So you could argue that I’ve been practicing yoga for more than 35 years. But throughout my life, I’ve had a tenuous relationship with yoga. If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know that I’m type-A (100%), I possess major OCD, and high anxiety--to name a few. 

These qualities of my personality make yoga really hard to do at times. I’m impatient, and the meditative flow of yoga can be infuriating. I’ve also had people say to me that they “just don’t get a good enough workout” when they practice yoga--There have been times when I have been one of these naysayers. I’ve gone in and out of periods where I’m regularly practicing for years. All that background is to let you know that I am a perfect case study. And to say that after throwing out my back and rediscovering yoga, I will NEVER give it up again. Right now, I get to two classes a week. And that’s my goal for this year--yoga twice a week. 

It’s a balance that seems to be the perfect amount to keep my body and mind in flow. It’s also the combo that keeps me stable for all the other stuff I like to do! Here are some additional insights from the Yoga Journal.

Exercise designed for YOUR fitness goals.

Sooo, I know you’re thinking, “Hey! Didn’t you just go over how vital physical care is versus fitness? And the answer is a big fat, “No!” Have you ever noticed that our brains are designed to prioritize one thing over another? It’s innately hard to have a dual focus (or in the case of my crazy 2020 goals) a 10-part focus. But it is possible! You just need to be present with one intention at a time. That’s why I have decided to write about physical care and fitness together. Because they both influence each other, and if balanced correctly, benefit each other. 

If you sit down and talk with a pro-athlete, they’ll be the first to tell you how much prioritizing care of your body matters. After all, that’s how athletes make a living--by depending on the functionality of their body and its performance.

I’m an avid believer in the power of regular fitness. For health. For mental stability. For cognition. And so much more. But just like the food we put in our bodies, what we ask our bodies to do, and how we do it, should vary based on your own unique body type, health variables, and desires. There is NO MAGIC WORKOUT plan that works for everyone. And if anyone tries to tell you that, tell them to shove it. Seriously. 👊

I have my own secret sauce to staying fit (at least my version of it 😜), and I plan to amplify the efforts I’ve been honing in on for the last few years in 2020. I’m gonna share my plan with you, but please, for the love of yourself, don’t just copy what I’m doing. Find the fitness level, frequency, and types of workouts that work for you! 

Yoga - Twice a week.

• Why? I practice Baptiste style yoga because it’s a faster flow in a heated room. I burn a decent amount of calories, and it keeps my body lean and healthy. 

Spin or Mountain Biking - Once a week.

• Why? I get anaerobic and can burn the most calories in workouts that involve biking. Also, my back can handle it, which is not the case with a lot of high-energy workouts. In the summer, I love to get outdoors on my bike, but during snowy months (in Bend, Oregon), I get to a spin class. 🚴

Walk, Run, Hike or Ski - A least 60 minutes. Once a week (or more if I can swing it). 🏔

• Why? Because these workouts are outdoors, and I love being outside! Any. Chance. I. Can. Get. In 2020, I am making it a priority to get in one outdoor workout a week, but more on that later. 

Core + Stretching - Four times a week.

• Why? Core workouts are essential to keeping me healthy and pain-free. I have worked super hard to get to a place where the herniated disks in my back do not hinder me, and I've done it by being diligent about doing core work. Sometimes I add my routine onto another workout, and sometimes I do it alone (on an off day). Either way, I have to do a 15-minute, physical-therapy-approved workout at least four times a week to stay pain-free. Below is the routine I use. PLEASE consult a physical therapist if you have chronic pain, before practicing this for yourself.

  • 15-Minute Core Workout for Lower Back Pain

    • Hip Stretch (30 seconds on each leg). Kneel with one knee on the floor and the other knee in front at a 90-degree angle. Lean your hips forward. Then switch legs. Show here.

    • Bridge Lifts (2 minutes or 25 lifts). Lay on your back, with knees bent, and feet on the floor. Lift your hips until they are as high as they can go. Squeeze your butt and thighs at the top. Slowly release down to the floor, then repeat. Demonstrated here.

    • Traditional Plank (1 minute). Assume a modified push-up position with elbows bent at 90 degrees and both forearms resting on the floor. Position your elbows underneath your shoulders and look straight toward the floor. Your body should form a perfectly straight line from the crown of your head to your heels.

    • Deep Abdominal Work or Knee Lifts (2 minutes or 30 total). Lay on your back, feel on the ground, hip-distance apart. Engage your abs and lift one leg at a time until your foot and lower leg are at a 90-degree angle from the floor. Your knee should not move past your hip. Slowly lower foot to the floor and repeat on the other side. Shown here.

    • Side plank (35 seconds on each side). On your side, pull your feet together and one forearm directly below your shoulder. Contract your core and raise your hips until your body is in a straight line from head to feet. Hold the position without letting your hips drop for the allotted time, then repeat on the other side.

    • Clamshell (25 on each side). Lay on your side, bend your knees, so they are stacked and push past your hips. Open and close your top leg slowly. It will burn by the end! That’s a good sign.

    • Lateral Band Walk (2 minutes / 10 one direction, then the other). With a high resistance band around your calves, place feet hip-width apart, squat, and slowly walk laterally to the left 10 paces and then back to the right 10 paces for two minutes. 

    • Cat/Cow Stretch (1 minute). End with a cat/cow stretch. Demonstrated here. 

You can make this routine longer or shorter by adding more of the exercises or adding weights. I follow a more extended version of this about once a week. And damn, my core is so strong! 

Meaningful focus on being outdoors.

Since this post seems to be the ‘exercise edition,’ I want to get into goals for being outdoors. 

One of the most beautiful memories I have of being a child is the time my sisters and I spent outdoors, playing, exploring, and of course, getting into trouble. Our parents were the error-on-the-side of more freedom types. This parenting method affected us negatively in some ways. Still, the time we spent being ragamuffins, running wild in the mountain town where we were raised, are some of the best times I can remember. We built forts under trees, went on grand explorations along our neighborhood stream bed, laid for hours under our favorite pine tree listening to the mountain-wind rush through the needles in an ocean-like manner. There was nothing to do or worry about. We were just there, experiencing nature, minute by minute.

This tradition developed in me a NEED to be in nature. The challenge comes in with what is required as an adult and a parent. Trying to find the time to actually be outside regularly, can be a real hurdle. 

So instead of neglecting this love of mine, I plan to purposefully make time to be outdoors at least three days a week this year. If all I have time for is to sit on a park bench and journal for 30 minutes, that will be enough. Aside from my own devotion to the outdoors, there are many reasons to make outside time a priority in your life. This excellent blog by Mental Floss explains the scientific reasons for getting outdoors way better than I can articulate it here. Check it out! 

Wow! That was a chunk of planning. Can you tell I’m an overachiever? I am, and I’m proud of it. Even if I only get to 50 percent of these in 2020, I’ll feel gratified, and accomplished just knowing I tried. And guess what?! I’m not done yet. Tune in next week for my final set of resolutions for 2020. It’s all about self-care, love, growth, and time.

In the meantime, good luck getting your goals and resolutions down on paper. And let me know what you’re planning! Let’s support each other.

xoxo

EM 💜

I’m looking for guest bloggers! Are you interested in writing a post about mommyhood, your career, your health, feminism in today’s world, or some other topic for women? I’m game! Hit me up here.