The Women’s Guide to Wellness: Part Three | Mental Health
I know, I know, this is such a broad and subjective bucket. By no means is this a guide to how to manage your mental health, especially if you suffer from severe depression. But, I have been managing my own struggles with depression for most of my recollected life, and through the highs and the lows (there have been a few), I have learned the recipe that works for me.
As part of an overall Guide to Wellness this year, I am sharing with you my insights, goals, and plan for continuing to improve the “me” that already exists and the future “me” I am hoping to form.
If you haven’t already done so, I recommend starting with Part One, focussing on Relationship Health, and Part Two about Physical Health before reading this portion of The Women’s Guide to Whole Body Wellness.
If you’ve been following, I hope you are inspired! And please feel free to reach out to me with some of your own insights or plans. I’d love to follow up on progress or add suggestions to these posts later in the year because, at the end of the day, if you don’t add some of your own ingredients to someone else’s recipe, along with your own, it’s just not going to taste as good. 😜
This year is already in full swing, but if you read my post from a few years ago, the Benefit of Setting your New Year’s Resolutions in February, then you know that I’m not a believer in rushing a good thing. Resolves can be created and kept at any time. It’s really up to you when the right moment presents itself.
So if you’re reading this guide in September, AWESOME! If you’re reading this and rolling your eyes, HOORAY! And come back when you’re actually ready.
Okay, enough with the intro. Let’s dig into the guide to mental wellness for women.
Nature Wins
The benefit of getting outside into nature and walking, hiking, or running for overall mental health cannot be overstated. According to many medical sources, as noted in this article from Mind, walking outdoors benefits everything from your cardiovascular system to getting you your daily dose of vitamin D and even adds to your social well-being, especially if you walk with a friend.
Aside from the mental benefit, choosing to get out for a walk, run or hike regularly, especially with your partner, a friend, your fur-babies, or your children, helps foster closeness in those relationships as well, and close personal connections are also linked to better mental health and happiness. If you’re up for a whole book on the topic, read Happier Hour by Cassie Holms, Ph.D.
2023 Challenge: Get outdoors and walk at least two miles twice per week!
Get Personal
Speaking of close personal connections, fostering closeness and interpersonal connection with real people has been proven to help overall mental health and happiness in a person’s life.
But since not all of us are extroverts, this can feel like a challenge. And no, scrolling through the latest curated updates on social media doesn’t count as a personal connection. In fact, time on social media has been linked to increased depression and an overall lack of life satisfaction and happiness. This article from TalkSpace goes into the pros and cons of scrolling that social feed on a regular basis.
What I’m talking about is REAL connection. Scheduling regular time and making effort to connect with those around you in person. It doesn’t mean forcing yourself to go to the next dinner party or conference despite not wanting to do so. It does mean scheduling a coffee date or walk with a friend, playing a board game with your partner instead of just watching TV, getting down on the floor, and playing with your kiddos for that extra ten minutes instead of rushing off to the next chore. You get the point. 🙂
2023 Personal Connection Challenge: Find an opportunity for an in-person connection date with someone you care about or someone you want to know better once a week.
Equalize Energy
Forget about balance. 2023 is all about finding equilibrium in your life. The very idea of balance alludes to the idea that you will constantly be fighting imbalance again, and inevitably balance is never maintained. I stopped trying to find “balance” in life and now focus on equilibrium.
Meaning whether you feel like you’re in a groove and killing it or a hot mess that needs rest, you can surrender to the situation and find equilibrium and symmetry at that moment. This. Is. Not. Easy. For. Me. I’ll say it again, the idea of surrendering to the things I cannot control is really hard for me. But working toward surrender in order to establish equilibrium in life is critical to my mental health.
Equilibrium in life really comes down to regularly asking yourself, “is this going to contribute to my overall goals, connection with those around me, or my health (mental and physical). If the answer is “yes!” then it may be worth doing. If the answer is “no,” rethink your motivations.
For example, I really despise mediation. There, I’ve said it. I know everyone talks these days about the benefits of meditation on mental health, focus, etc., etc., and to be honest, I have been meditating in some form for over twenty years. But I have never grown to love the act of meditating. What I do love is the effects. On the days I meditate, I am more focused on what’s important. I do feel calmer, and that benefits not only me but my kids and my husband. So despite my mixed emotions about meditation, I try and make time to meditate (just 10 minutes or so) twice a week. On the other hand, I was recently asked to join the third local board for a nonprofit organization in my town in the last six months, and while the cause is great, and it would benefit the community, being stretched more thinly – by adding one more thing to my schedule that is already full with work, kids-related activities, personal care, and other community efforts would not benefit my life, health or family, so I said (kindly), “no thank you.”
2023 Equilibrium Challenge: Choose three things a week to cut out of your life because they do not serve you, and find one thing a week to add to help yourself achieve mental and physical equilibrium.
Sharing is Caring
For years I hated the word “Therapy.” Let’s be honest, I kind of still hate it now, but as time has progressed, and I have struggled to heal myself, by myself, my dislike of therapy was outweighed by my desire to heal from past trauma and the necessity of healing for the health of my family and myself.
If you have existed in this crazy world for more than twenty years, and if you’re reading this, the likely answer to that existential question is likely, “yes!” Then the reality is that you have experienced some heartbreak, trauma, grief, or form of depression in your time on this earth. Now, for the most part, I am not in the habit of forcing my beliefs on others (strong suggestions, yes! But forcing, no! 😉), but in the case of therapy, I’m just going to say it: Every couple and individual, of almost any age, can benefit from discussing their issues, whatever they may be, with a trained mental health professional. Sharing your worries, fears, and wishes with another human being is, in fact, the best care you can give to yourself!
Someone I greatly respect put it best recently, he said, “if you broke your arm, would you say, “oh, no thanks, I don’t need a cast, I’ll just fix it myself.” Or if you were going to train for a marathon, would you say, “I don’t need a training plan; I’ll just go out and run the damn thing, no problem!” (Okay, crazy death-wish people, I’m not talking to you. You. Be. You.)
That comment really hit home for me, though. No class in any grade of school teaches how to cope and how to be a good partner or friend in a relationship. We rely on the wisdom of our parents and friends and as good as this can sometimes be unless they have a greater understanding of the psychology of the brain and our emotions, the likelihood is that you are trying to stay mentally healthy without much of a roadmap.
So, stop it already! Remember that if you don’t share about what’s challenging you, hurting you, or holding you back, you’ll struggle to find a solution, and is that really caring for yourself? Either find a local, in-person therapy solution or something online like, BetterHelp.
2023 Therapy Challenge: Find a trained therapist that you trust (sometimes it takes a few trial-and-errors to find the right person), and start unpacking that mental load so you can live – healthy and happy.
Disclaimer: I am not a therapist. What’s best for you and your mental state is not my area of expertise. This is just what’s worked for me.
Your own personal journey to wellness in relationships, body, and mental health is amazing, and I want to hear about it! Let’s connect and talk about your story.
