[Interview] Women’s History Month Means Embracing Our Layers
Can you tell us a little bit about why you started the F.E.E.L. Podcast?
In the fall of 2019, when I turned fifty, my body screamed at me to start paying attention and tending to her. All the years I’d spent prioritizing everyone and everything else had taken its toll. It showed up as high blood pressure, heart palpitations, anxiety attacks, acid reflux, and a living state of hypervigilance. If you’ve experienced any trauma, you may know what this feels like. Hypervigilance is the elevated state of constantly assessing threats surrounding you, often due to trauma.
I had nothing physically wrong with me, but I did have years of unprocessed trauma. And I had stuffed, unprocessed emotions that were now showing up as physical symptoms in my body. This was all happening along with Menopause.
In this culture, we are trained as women to put everyone before us no matter the cost, and that just does not work. Women must break this cycle and start to prioritize their self-care. The connection between our emotional, mental, and physical health is powerful. Our bodies will break down if we do not put healthy boundaries in place, prioritize our self-care and refill our cups– to then fill others in turn. We must care for ourselves and support other women in doing the same. And honestly, all women need to quit believing the lie that this is selfish.
I knew I wasn’t the only one having these experiences, and I wanted to create a space for women from all backgrounds to come along with me and have these conversations, normalize these conversations, and help younger women and those my age and older. I started the F.E.E.L. podcast to create healthy self-care habits early on, so women don’t land in the ER (twice in two weeks) at age 50 as I did!
Describe the big things you’ve learned since starting your podcast:
A Consistent Narrative - As women, we all face a similar vocal or mental dialogue; “You’re being selfish if you put yourself first.” It’s a huge part of the fabric of our culture. But then our BIPOC sisters, LGBTQIA+ sisters, sisters with a disability, and those that come from marginalized faith spaces sisters face another whole set of challenges, hurdles, microaggressions, and biases on top of that.
Opening Up Helps! Women want to have open conversations, but no one’s ever told them it’s okay and safe to do so.
Gaps in Our Healthcare - Our doctors MUST start talking to each other so women can connect the dots on why their bodies are doing certain things. Your General Practitioner, Gynecologist, Therapist, Dermatologist, etc., should all be sharing information so they can figure out why our bodies are doing certain things rather than just slapping a prescription on as a band-aid.
Promote Your Thing! When starting a podcast from scratch (or any venture, for that matter), you should not be afraid to market yourself. Shout out to the world about what you’re doing to reach your audience. We, as women, get very squirmy about promoting ourselves, but if you have an important message to share, be willing to put yourself out there to find your audience.
Be Patient - Building your community and finding your audience takes time and patience. Be mindful that you’re not comparing yourself to those who already have an established following, name notoriety, etc. That’s unfair to you and unrealistic.
What Does Women’s History Month mean to you?
It means so much, and like so many of our other months (Black History, Mental Health Awareness, Hispanic Heritage, AAPI, PRIDE) should not be just that month but a year-round everyday thing. I think it’s critical to remember that we are all part of this movement, so not only do we honor those that have come before us and those who are doing the work and making history today. Our newsletter for Women’s History Month highlighted guest stories right here and now. That being said, it's also essential we honor those that have done the hard work before us in areas we may take for granted now. Let’s ensure we’re highlighting women who are doing and have done the work on behalf of women without prejudice. I am mindful that many early white suffragists only advocated for white women and did not welcome or fight for our BIPOC sisters. Let’s acknowledge our real history instead of sugarcoating it or not mentioning it at all.
What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced as a woman entrepreneur and leader?
When you are an outspoken woman working to normalize conversations that make the culture, and especially the patriarchy, uncomfortable, you’re considered a nuisance, a bitch, a problem, instead of the brave, innovative, fearless thought leader that you are. Men that do these things are seen as “leaders” demanding “respect.” It’s getting better, but there’s still a lot of work to be done. When women are fired up and fighting for something, they are often labeled as “too emotional,” whereas men are considered motivated or inspired.
How do you stay motivated and inspired?
The women I get to talk to on each of our episodes make it very easy for me to stay inspired. I am extremely lucky to have lived all over the country and have met some of the most incredible, diverse humans. I get very excited about being able to share them with the world. I have also come into contact with women I would never have met that have reached out as they’ve followed us, or I’ve reached out to them to do collaborations and just support each other’s work. It’s really been incredible.
Who are some of the most influential women for you? And why?
My Mother-in-Law
She tragically passed away on March 7th this year from Alzheimer’s disease, was a smart, well-spoken, well-read, Irish Catholic Feminist who was truly a woman before her time. The girls and boys in their house all learned together, did the same chores, and were taught the same skills. There were no male and female roles in her house. She and my father-in-law had an egalitarian relationship before anyone even knew what that meant.
Harriet Tubman
Her courage and faith are mind-blowing to me, and she did not accept any limitations anyone else tried to put on her.
Amelia Earhart
Hers was the first biography I read when I was eight years old. It really planted the idea that I could do big things regardless of what those around me believed I could do.
Currently, I admire and support women like Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, Sue Bird, Megan Rapinoe, Michelle Obama, Austin Channing Brown, Viola Davis, Angela Bassett, Jamie Lee Curtis, Helen Mirren, Sigourney Weaver, Reese Witherspoon, Heather McGhee are all pushing the boundaries and advocating for women and demanding things that we have historically been told are not possible for women in general, women over 50, women of color, queer women, women in faith spaces, women in marginalized countries. And they aren’t taking no for an answer!
The amazing guests on the F.E.E.L. podcast inspire me daily with their stories, journeys, and ways they move the needle in their spaces and cultures around them. Listen to any of our guests, and you will learn, be encouraged, and be inspired by something about each of their journeys.
Lastly, I'm in constant awe of my amazing staff of 20-somethings who refuse to believe the lie that they’re too young to be wise or make a significant contribution. I depend so much on their wisdom and insight for our work and could not do this without them.
What do you mean when you say it’s important to “embrace your layers?”
We are all made of many complex layers through our varied experiences. Women often only highlight what they like about themselves and ignore the rest. But you cannot truly love yourself and see yourself as worthy of prioritizing if you don’t embrace all the parts of you that make you who you are. As you uncover layers, you’ll discover new aspects of yourself through the different seasons of life.
We don’t have to like all of our experiences, but we do need to acknowledge them. I’ve learned not to be ashamed of the ones I don’t love. None of us are perfect, life is a complex, beautiful, messy journey, and we are all doing our best. I don’t believe in “good” versus “bad” emotions. All emotions must be felt and processed. Our feelings inform us of what we need to feel, heal, and work through so we don’t stuff down our experiences and get stuck.
What do you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed to re-center?
It depends on what my body is telling me it needs at that moment.
Sometimes I just pause and do some breathing exercises. Other times I’ll get outside, take a walk, and do some yoga. Periodically I’ll do all three of those things.
I also try to start each morning by journaling and writing down how I feel that day. That means writing down all of my feelings. We are not dualistic. It’s essential to realize and acknowledge the multiple emotions that can be felt at any given time. Being able to identify how I’m feeling each day helps me pinpoint what’s going to enable me to stay centered or re-center the most at that moment.
Is there a daily ritual (or a few) you practice to maintain mental and physical health?
Journaling.
Writing down all that I’m feeling each day. Which then informs what to do next.
A brisk walk, yoga, breathing exercises, stretching, meditation.
Some days I do all of those things, and some days, I do the ones that my body is telling me she specifically needs.
The ritual that’s most meaningful to me is to get some type of movement in every day.
Movement helps me to move stress and anxiety through my body and process it properly, clear my head, and that’s when I will get a lot of my new fresh ideas.
What’s the most groundbreaking interview topic you’ve discussed? Which episode so our readers can listen?!
We have a few topics that have been really groundbreaking for us.
We have an episode where we discuss “Weaponized Gratitude.” Listen here.
We have an episode about Beauty and Beauty Privilege. Listen here.
We have an episode discussing Seasonal Depression. Listen here.
We have an episode discussing Mental Health in the Black Community. Listen here.
We have an episode discussing Ketamine therapy as an option in the mental health sphere. Listen here.
Where can Womanhood Unwrapped followers find you?
Check out our website EmbracingLayers.com, where you will find links to our episodes, blogs, resources from each episode, newsletters, learn more about us, and our Linktree.
You can also be part of our Substack community, where you get direct emails with links to all of our blogs and newsletters as they come out.
Did you love this interview with Melissa Crook, founder of The F.E.E.L. podcast? Let us know in the comments! Interested in sharing your story on Womanhood Unwrapped? Let’s chat.
