The Hard-Won Lessons That Made Me a Better Business Owner and Mom
The Beautiful Mess of Doing Both
If you’ve ever felt that you’re one-half killing it, and one-half burning the house to the ground of your life, and work, then welcome, you’re in the right place. Being a business owner and mom, in a constant exercise in stepping from one ledge to the the other, like a tightrope walker, who makes it to safety on the work-ledge, only to discover they need to get back out on the balancing rope, and make their way back to the family-ledge to address the need there. Back and forth you go, hoping that you can maintain your “balance” without falling into the void.
The thing is, being a mom-boss, mompreneur, mother who is also a business owner—or any of the other terms that we give ourselves—is incredibly challenging but also undeniably rewarding.
I know, I’ve been doing this balancing act for over 12 years. Does it ever get easier? Not a chance. One minute I’m pitching a client or conducting a one-on-one meeting with a team member, and the next I’m picking up a sick kiddo from school and making soup. But would I change it? Before I steal my own thunder, let’s dig into the hard-won lessons that have made me a better business owner over the past decade, and a more attentive and present mom.
Lesson One: Boundaries Are a Form of Love (Not Just for Toddlers)
If you’ve read my working mom tips or articles before, you know I often stress the importance of boundaries. Whether discussing healthy relationships, establishing a business, or raising children, boundaries are something that working mothers frequently overlook.
Here's a little story: When I became a new mom, I thought my life and my relationship with my husband wouldn't change. I believed I could manage everything—work a corporate 40-hour week, spend every weekend with my in-laws, maintain a tidy home, and nurse my newborn through the night. As time went on, I realized that saying "yes" meant I had to follow through, and I was becoming worn out. I understood that I needed to focus only on activities that benefited my child’s wellbeing, my relationship, or my professional growth. All other requests, particularly from family and friends, had to take a back seat. Did this last forever? Certainly not. But during the newborn stage as a full-time working mom, I quickly learned to say no more often than yes.
Fast-forward five years, and I had to relearn this lesson the hard way—after nearly losing my business. I discovered that boundaries don't make you rigid and unapproachable as a mother and business owner. Rather, they empower you to say "yes" to opportunities that genuinely support your family's and business's health and well-being. They also help you establish limits, allowing you to say "no" to things that could disrupt your precarious balance and lead to burnout.
Pro Mom-Boss Tip: Here’s the secret; if saying “no” is too difficult or just not in your nature, then try my favorite phrase. Instead, say “not right now,” or “this is when I can do that.” Half the time, when you gracefully push off the request or demand that’s clearly too much, it resolves itself without you. Poof! It’s like magic.
Lesson Two: Delegating Isn’t Defeat, It’s Strategy
I recently talked to another working mom who was lamenting the fact that she doesn’t live near family and, therefore, doesn’t have “the village” everyone talks about needing to raise children and have a career. When we dug into her situation more, it became clear that she’s a mom who has a really hard time relinquishing control of everything from childcare to delegating tasks at work.
Her predicament made me flash back to when I was a new mom, and was also working in a corporate role at the time. I, too, did not have a “village” of people around to support me as I went to work each day, tried to adjust to having a full-blown human to support (my three-month-old daughter), and a hubby who was traveling for work all the time. I tried to make it all function, pumping breastmilk at work, so my daughter could still nurse, running home on my lunch break to feed her, getting home exhausted, only to find a dirty house that needed to be cleaned. But it quickly became clear that my situation was not sustainable. We had a babysitter for the bare minimum hours I was at work, but I was constantly exhausted and began to feel like life was just too much to handle – hello, postpartum depression.
It was at that point I chose to have our babysitter come for an extra morning twice a month on weekends. This would allow me to have some time to address tasks I couldn’t finish during my work week. Was it a complete solution? Certainly not. Working motherhood is constantly evolving and keeps you on your toes. However, this adjustment does modify the balance between my parenting, my job, and me just enough to make it manageable.
Pro Working Mom Tip: Acknowledge and then let go of the guilt you might feel around asking for help and delegating things you cannot accomplish on your own. If you embrace and trust that outsourcing things you would just stress about but not get done (like the laundry, the cleaning, or buying yourself a little extra time to grocery shop or get a pedicure), you’ll give yourself and your family a huge gift—the gift of you! A happy and more peaceful you.
Lesson Three: Your Kids Are Watching How You Treat Yourself
Let me just say that this hard-learned lesson was, and still is, one of the most painful and yet most essential things I’ve learned as a mompreneur.
It sucks to realize and accept that how you treat yourself, how you prioritize rest, and the honest reality you share with your children teach them how to treat themselves. They’re watching your every move, and they are learning how to value themselves through your example.
It’s no secret that balancing work and motherhood is challenging. It’s not something you need to hide from your children. But, how you show up, set boundaries, and avoid burnout is modeling for them incredibly essential life skills that they will benefit from for the rest of their lives.
So what do you want them to learn? Martyrdom, because everything is too much, and too busy, and “no one is helping you?” Or, humor, happiness, and a little bit of messy balance, from your ability to prioritize yourself, rest, and boundaries when needed?
Lesson Four: Failure Isn’t the Opposite of Success, It’s the Tuition
Let me just say that at this point, I should have a PhD in learning lessons the hard way as a mom and business owner. But all humor aside, failure is by far one of the best teachers.
I was made acutely aware of this fact when my first business model completely crashed and burned, leaving me holding a pile of ashes. I partnered with the wrong person. Mistake one: I hired the wrong roles to help me grow the company. Mistake two: I paid my employees and contractors too much while charging my clients too little. Mistake three: I partnered with the wrong person.
The biggest mistake I made? I failed to create a model that allowed for delegation and breaks. I was constantly involved in everything—until it became unsustainable. Unsurprisingly, the model broke down the moment challenges arose. However, after some time off, reflecting on my experiences, and gradually rebuilding my business in a sustainable way that suits my family's needs, I can confidently say that my initial failure taught me resilience and the importance of adapting with grace and perspective.
Mom-Boss Tip: Stop worrying about how you will avoid failure. Failure in business, planning, and motherhood is part of the deal. It’s going to happen – even to the best of us. Instead, spend your time and energy on ways you can recover, recoup, and realign after failing at something, so that you can come out the other side stronger and more prepared.
Lesson Five – You’re Allowed to Evolve
How boring would it be if you remained the same? The same mother, boss, business owner, friend, your whole entire life. The concept of evolving is one of the most freeing and validating things to discover and embrace as a woman and a mother.
You’re allowed to let go of old goals. It’s awesome if your expectations no longer fit who you are as a mother and where you want to go. It’s absolutely cheers-worthy when your personal growth pushes you out of your comfort zone as a woman.
Let’s just say that thriving as a mother and a business owner now looks a lot different than it did for me ten, or even five years ago. And thank goodness! I definitely don’t want to operate with the same old plan and strategies that didn’t work for me back then.
Today, my work and family life look very different. What have I embraced, and what have I released?
What I’ve embraced:
I am a mom first and a business owner second. If my team or clients don’t like it, they don’t have to work with me.
Things will be messy at times, and that’s okay!
Everything will work out! Even if it’s totally different from what I expected.
What I’ve released:
Inflexibility and rigidity. Full stop. These are cryptonite for any working mom!
Swaying with other people’s opinions. There’s a big difference between support, advice, and an opinion. Opinions are like viruses to your happiness and survival. Let them in, and they’ll take over.
Ignoring my gut feelings and instincts. Your instincts are there for a reason! If something feels just wrong or icky for your business or your family, do something else!
From Survival Mode to CEO and MOM Mode
The moral of the story? You don’t have to choose between being a rockstar business owner and an amazing mom. You just need to trust yourself, lean on your community, learn, and give yourself grace as you walk the tightrope of mompreneur life.
“The hustle taught me discipline. Motherhood taught me purpose. Failing taught me everything else.”
Quick Recap: Here are 5 Hard-Won Truths I’ll Pass Down to My Kids
Boundaries are love
You don’t have to do it all
Rest is productive
Failure = growth
You’re always allowed to evolve
What hard-won lesson has shaped your motherhood or business journey? Share your stories with us in the comments below, or shoot the Womanhood Unwrapped team a message!
