10 Funny and Honest Business Lessons I’ve Learned As a Mother and Founder

When I was a little girl, I naively thought that when I grew up, I’d get a job, get married, and live happily ever after. But early on, as a young woman, I realized that I had more ambition (yes, and I’m not ashamed to admit it) and interest in growing my own business and brand than in working as a cog in a big corporate wheel.

And then, between working to build my business, finding my life-partner, starting a family, raising our children, and being diagnosed with and fighting cancer, I learned a few things. 

These lessons were not what I expected, or even what I was looking for, but of course, that is how life and career-building go. The funny thing is, most of the things I’ve come to accept as truth about ambition, motherhood, life balance, and health are the opposite of what ten or even twenty-year-old me thought was real and true because the absurdity of holding it all together gracefully and effectively is a myth.

So, with that in mind, let’s dig into the 10 funny and honest things I’ve learned as a mother and business owner, who’s also thriving through cancer treatment.

1. Nobody Knows What They’re Doing

Okay, this, right here, is the number one funny truth I’ve learned; no one knows what they are doing in business or in life. Whether they’re a successful female entrepreneur who’s a millionaire or a small solopreneur, it doesn’t matter – they do not know what’s going to happen, or have some secret potion that allows them to know exactly what they’re doing and how it’s all going to work out.

Whew! Aren’t you relieved? Take that in for a minute.

And, no, I’m not just saying this to make you feel better. As much as I want to see you succeed, I’m not in the business of half-truths and white lies.

Everyone out there is doing the same thing you are: Googling (or ChatGPT-ing) things to see if they’re right, pivoting mid-meeting or halfway through a project, and pretending some elements of their business are easy and make sense, when they absolutely do not.

And the other funny thing is that I could never have confidently told you this truth when I was in my twenties or even thirties. Figuring out that no one knows what they are doing really just comes with time, exposure, and mistakes.

The reality is that confidence and surety come after action – and often after mistakes are made – not before anything has happened or any risk has been taken.

So, if you’re hesitating to move forward on something you want to do in your career or life, stop it. Take a couple of baby steps to get yourself going. I promise you’re not behind, and you're no less capable than anyone else.

2. “Balance” Is a Myth Invented to Make Women Feel Bad

Right around the time I gave birth to my second child, while growing a business and managing multiple employees, I had an epiphany: You can have everything you want in life, but rarely at the same time. I don’t know why this is the case; perhaps it’s a universal rule, or way that the metaphorical life pendulum swings from one side to the other, but I have never had all of the verticals in my life go smashingly well, or gut-wrenchingly wrong, all at the same time. Therefore, the idea of “Balance” in work and life that is shoved down every woman’s throat is in fact a myth. How can you have balance if when one thing is going spectacularly wrong, another is finding its flow?

Side note: If you are someone who has everything in every vertical of life go “right” all the time, or “wrong” all the time, I’d love to hear from you. Because I’m not saying this isn’t possible, yet I have rarely seen a circumstance where all things align at the same time.

So, would you like to hear my theory on the matter? Okay, great. I thought you’d never ask.

My theory is this: When you focus on one thing, for example, growing your business, you’re inevitably going to let other people and things slide a little, get a little less attention, and perhaps be set aside for a time. Is this a bad thing? Absolutely not!

When you’re in the zone, growing your business, or writing that book, or getting married, it’s practically impossible to focus on anything else. But just know that the little strings and efforts that hold your personal life together when you’re focusing on work, or your work together, when you’re dialed into the needs of your personal life, will get strained, and some might snap.

If you allow yourself some grace and recognize the myth for what it is, that there is no such thing as balance, there is a need to stay with one life vertical for a period of time, and then pivot to the other. And if you recognize and take it, you’ll find a lot more happiness and satisfaction in your life in general.

But, if you insist on constantly chasing “balance,” I promise, you’ll be proverbially disappointed in yourself and others.

What you need is flexibility, not perfection. And instead of chasing balance, then feeling bad when you can’t achieve it, you need the ability to pivot frequently without guilt or judgment.

3. Your Body Will Eventually Humble You

Let me tell you that there is nothing in the world that will reestablish your priorities faster than showing up to a team meeting right after getting your monthly cancer treatment – chilling, I know, but just consider for a moment, what is the alternative?

There comes a time in every ambitious woman’s life when she realizes she can’t outwork the life situation she’s in. Whether it’s an environmental change, a shift in your personal relationships, or an unexpected health diagnosis (like finding out you have stage four cancer), these life-altering moments happen to everyone, and you very quickly have to humble yourself and accept that your body is not a machine. And, if you push yourself too hard, and without rest and moments of recalibration, you will inevitably lose your grasp on everything, or at the very least your own happiness and sanity.

Your body was not created to run on all cylinders all the time. And, when something stops you in your tracks, like an injury, having a child, or a health diagnosis, it’s a big red light telling you it’s time to pause, re-evaluate, and return to your core values and life desires.

Here are a few things you might want to consider doing immediately, if you’re in a phase where everything has ground to a halt because you need to focus on yourself and your health:

• Offload or delegate everything - For a period of time, maybe a week, maybe months, you are going to need to offload or delegate everything from your to-do list that is not 150% something you must do yourself.

• Find a therapist - When your life gets turned upside down, you can rely on your partner or friends and family so much, but there’s an immense benefit in having someone listen to you, and have designated time for you to unload all the sh*t you don’t want to tell anyone else.

• Start walking outside - If you don’t already have a regular outdoor walking routine, make one, now. Unless you are bedridden, getting outside, even for a five to ten-minute walk, will do wonders for your mental stability and energy levels.

These are just a few life-saving habits I have had to add to my day-to-day routine as I have been working through cancer and treatment.

4. Women Are Expected to Make Everything Look Easy

Oh my goodness. This point just makes me simultaneously mad and sad. Unless you are a woman who is completely disconnected from societal norms and expectations, you know how impossible the expectations of us female founders can be.

Women are not only expected to run a business while raising good humans, or work sixty hours a week while still finding time to work out and stay in shape, or maintain an aura of calm and sweet energy while still running a team that is put together and happy. Basically, we’re expected to look “put together” all the time and approach everything with conditioned grace and nicety. We’re supposed to hold it all together for our kids, our spouses, our clients, our team, and anyone else who feels entitled to your time.

It’s absolutely impossible, and while you might be able to make it look easy on the outside, I guarantee you, you’re channeling crazy raccoon energy on the inside. Am I right?

The reality is that women are constantly carrying an unreal amount of invisible labor everywhere they turn, whether you’re growing a business, growing in your career, growing a family, or doing all of this at the same time. Therefore, you need to rethink the game plan.

Aren’t you tired of playing by the rules that are set up for you to fail? Don’t you sometimes see a better way? Yet everything and everyone around you says, “You can’t do that.”

Well, I’m here to tell you, you can! I was told I couldn’t start freelancing with a toddler. I did. I was poo-pooed for growing my marketing business without years of experience. But I did it. I was told that starting a blog for women had already been done. Yet here I am.

Do what you want, when and how you want to do it. Period.

5. Boundaries Are Expensive, And Necessary

If you’ve read any of my other posts, you know that I hate the word “boundaries.” It’s not that boundaries are bad; they are necessary. But the concept has been hijacked, and the term has been overused so much, and in such a marginalizing way, that at this point, I don’t know how anyone can even decide when or how a boundary should be set.

But now that you’ve heard me rant about it, let’s have a real look at when and how setting boundaries might cause you a little discomfort, but will give you the gift of actually being able to do what the f*ck you need to do, and be who the f*ck you need and want to be. Yes, I feel this strongly about it.

Stop Being Available All the Time

First, being accessible to everyone or any one person all the time is absolutely exhausting. And, if you are a mother, you know you need to be accessible for your kids. Therefore, there are other things and people that need to have less access to you, or you will go insane.

What You Can Do About It: 

Sit down and make a list of all the people and things that have full access to you. If they are not COMPLETELY reliant on you – and even if they are – figure out how you can take a few steps to give them less access. For example: Don’t pick up every call, cancel the meeting, or transfer the responsibility to someone else.

Get Real About Overgiving

Being giving and collaborating with others is great. But it can become a prison of your own making if you give more than your personal capacity can handle.

The reality is that there are givers and takers in the world. And if you’re reading this post, you’re likely a giver. Which means, you need to be careful about how much of yourself you’re willing to extend, because the result of overgiving is that you will become resentful, exhausted, and the joy of the act will be lost in the action.

What You Can Do About It: 

Every time you are tempted to give your time, your effort, or your emotional support, ask yourself: Will this bring me joy? Is it something I can do without creating stress in my life? If I don’t handle it, will someone else be able to figure it out?

Urgency is Dead

Look, you can run around like a chicken with your head cut off if you gain joy from this behavior – but I bet you don’t. The age of being busy to be busy is dead.

No one expects you to do something on your plate at every moment of every day. No one is going to give you an award for urgently responding to every task, every text, and every need…so, find a way to slow it down.

What You Can Do About It:

If you’re like me, you take pride in being responsive and getting things done that you say you will do. That said, I’ve learned that most of the time, the urgency is self-created. If you tell someone you need two more days than you think, they won’t know the difference. If you wait until you have some downtime to respond to that important text, no one is going to fail you at life. So if you feel the urgency building inside of you, take a moment. Take a deep breath and ask yourself, “Do I really need to do this right now, or can it wait?”

6. Humor Is the Ultimate Wing-Woman

Look, you can white-knuckle it through life, and take everything you do like a funeral. You can constantly ask the Universe or your God, “Why me?” You can be the person who always complains when a friend asks how you’re doing, and basically thinks the world is out to get you. All of this is within your rights as a human being and a woman.

And, all of us have moments when things seem hopeless, when the future feels murky, when the way forward is unclear, or you just can’t imagine how you will ever get through.

Believe me, I get it. I’ve had more than a fair amount of life-changing experiences, and traumatic pivotal moments in my life – the most consequential of which was finding out that I have stage four Melanoma in my pancreas and liver.

But when you get through the “Oh, f*ck, is this really happening,” stage. You get to make a choice; are you going to let the insanity and unpredictability of life kill your joy, your sense of self, your agency, and your hope? Or, are you going to find the light in the dark moments, discover what’s really important, and laugh at the absurdity of it all – as your life depends on it – which in my case it did!

You can’t survive entrepreneurship, motherhood, relationships, illness, and adulthood in general as a woman without laughing at the absurdity of how everyone showed up late to that Zoom call, or how your newborn puked all over your blazer right before you left for the office, or how the hospital dinner looks more like a big turd than the meatloaf plate on the menu.

Trust me, if you aren’t letting yourself laugh, you’re inevitably going to trap all that angst and emotion in your system, and that’s no way to live. So, let humor be your wing-woman in this crazy rollercoaster we call life. Period.

7. Some Seasons Are For Growth. Some Are For Self-Preservation.

If I hadn’t learned to flex and surrender to the situation at hand across multiple iterations of my business, career, and personal life, I would not be where I am today.

I’d probably be sitting in some cubicle somewhere, executing some leadership board’s marketing strategy, wishing I could make it to my son’s soccer game, and wondering how, after so many years, I still have no autonomy or passion in my work and life.

But here’s the funny lesson I learned when my business took a metaphorical nose dive the first time: Everything comes in seasons, and you must wholeheartedly embrace the season that you are in.

This is where your instincts as a woman come in. You know that sneaky little feeling you get when you know something is about to happen, or shift. You may try to ignore it. You may try to pass it off as paranoia, or just your insecurities popping up, but then, go figure, the thing happens.

And what happens next? You wish you had listened to your instincts, right?

Whether you’re in a season of scaling your business or launching something new. If you’re working on fine-tuning your team or optimizing your life. Whatever it is, when you’re crushing your goals, the instincts feel like bonus points – of course, that meeting went well, you knew you’d get that client, or promotion – but how much do you embrace the season when your instincts are signaling something different, like an annoying little sibling?

Because just like there are growth seasons, there are also seasons in life where the best and most critically important thing you can do is preserve yourself.

So, if you lost the job, are being forced to reformat your business, realized the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, whatever it is in this season that you’re dealing with, just know, it’s just a season. And just when you think it will be this way forever, or nothing will ever get better, it does.

It’s okay to simplify your life. It’s necessary to focus on healing. It’s essential to rethink your thinking. And the time you take to preserve your time, your inner self, and your needs, will strengthen your mental muscles so that you’re ready to fly as soon as growth knocks on the door and offers you a ride.

8. Women Build Businesses Their Own Way

Whoever said you need to build your business like everyone else out there, especially based on a blueprint that men developed. Whoever said that you need to grow in your career the same way your male counterparts do?

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the status quo, per se; it’s just that the old style of building brands and careers doesn’t work for most women. 

Especially if you’re seeking a way to create a brand or business that accommodates being a mother.

I grew my business despite all the feedback saying I had to work 60 hours a week or I would not be successful. I built my brand while the naysayers said I couldn’t run a business, and be there to pick up my kids from school, or be available for their daily needs. I created a company that thrives even though I heard over and over that I didn’t have enough experience, and I could change how and what I was doing once I committed to it.

You can do the same thing. You don’t need anyone’s permission to create something that is community-based and fosters a flexible ecosystem that works with your life.

Take it from me, there’s no right or wrong way to grow your business and career. And, emotionally intelligent companies and brands are starting to get this. So figure out what works for you, and do it – unapologetically.

9. You Can Love Your Life and Still Be Completely Overwhelmed by It

Here’s the deal: I completely and utterly love my life, my family, my business, AND three to four times a day, I am also completely overwhelmed by the stuff on my plate. 

There is some underlying myth out there on social media, in the business world, and in culture in general that as a modern woman, you can’t be satisfied and successful, yet also be overwhelmed, messy, uncertain, and holding it all together by a thread.

So let me debunk this toxic ideology for a minute:

• You can be overwhelmed, and that doesn’t make you ungrateful

• You can love your career, and still choose to reform it for your family

• You can adore your children and still build a company

• You can show up messy, and you’re still valuable

• You can be pissed off that you have cancer, and still be happy with your life

Let’s just agree that a rulebook for life and business as a woman doesn’t exist. The incredible thing is that we get to create it, together. 

10. Success HITS Different FOR Me Now

I thought I knew what hardship looked like, what success felt like, and how I wanted to live my life and support my family. Then I was diagnosed with cancer. 

Fulfillment in life and work looks way different to me these days. It’s far less about how much I can accomplish and who seems impressed. And, success now that I’m working on adjusting to the reality of living with a disease is far more about what gives me freedom, what allows me to be present for myself and my family, and what feels like meaningful work.

Here’s what I now have perspective on, that I just glossed over before. Before I thought I had time. I thought I had all the time in the world to find creative fulfillment, laugh with my kids, take that trip with my husband, and enjoy life. Now I know that life is fleeting. None of us knows how long we have on this Earth. Therefore, now is the moment to enjoy what you’re doing, say the things you want and need to say, and create fulfillment for yourself that is not based on always chasing the next goal.

Are you interested in taking your brand and business to the next level?

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